Writer's ■: Repetition unto Failure

Why do we fear failure?

Jul 30, 2025

i. writer’s ■?:

Writer’s ■ [Writer’s Block] will not hold space as a void to scream into. Instead, it will serve as an aether to pull from. By differentiating the definition of the word ‘block’ in its association with the term writer’s block, I allow myself to change the interpretation of the affliction, turning it from a roadblock to a building block.

ii. Failing Successfully

To create is to fail; for success does not come without repetition in failure.

This begs the question: Why is failure frowned upon in the pursuit of perfection?

One argument suggests that the internet’s polarizing depiction(s) of reality have altered our general perceptions. While these alterations may hold true, we cannot just throw our hands up in the air and say “…bec a use the in t e rnet”, blaming it for everything.

Part of the problem is biological, and some of it is psychological when in relation with others. I say this because ‘fear’ of failure is a biological necessity for survival. Fear of failure keeps us alive, preventing us from taking risks that would otherwise harm us. In the present, this fear of failure activates in moments where it’s unnecessary, with examples provided below:

Fear of raising your hand in class… In fear that you might be wrong… In a place of learning
The fear of trying something new—and being bad it. Oh no! You’re so cringe for trying something you’re unskilled and untrained at! How dare you not come out the gates dropping ‘Dark Side of the Moon’ or ‘Mona Lisa’ as your first project.

In listing these, I will not cosplay as being immune to the very pressures that I critique. Instead, I understand these pressures all too well. And it is here that I also must hold myself accountable by knowing that the most potent feeling of suffocation comes within me.

iii. What Would Jesus Do? (sort of)

Biology aside, there’s a clear lack of forgiveness in our society—the psychological layer I referred to earlier. It’s this lack of forgiveness of self and others that leads us to our denial of failure as good. From our trauma(s), we’ve made it socially acceptable to not ‘forgive’ ourselves, much less others.

When we fail, we are often unkind to ourselves. This predisposition in the face of failure makes us reactionary; priming us to put others down when they fail. In turn, watching someone else fail becomes ‘cringe’ because it mirrors our own shortcomings.. Thus our conditioned response is anger, disgust, and suffocation—rather than love, tenderness, kindness, and support.

This leads us to the failure that led me to write this post.

iv. The Mind’s Eye

Last week my Panasonic Lumix G9 arrived in the mail. By definition, I’m a hobbyist photographer, and an amateur videographer. My perspective on photography is mostly that of a fly-on-the-wall experience. As someone that doesn’t [often] dance or attend social functions, the camera allows me to blend into the experience and have an excuse to be in spaces that I enjoy, without feeling pressured to participate.

This led me to taking my camera to a space I’ve never been before—with a collective of local Chicago DJ’s I’ve never met. At the time, my goal was simple: learn how to use my camera.

In the moment, I thought I’d succeeded. However post-edit, I realized that over 90% of the footage I’d taken was; mediocre in composition, blurry, and/or otherwise unsalvageable for one reason or another. This was disheartening, but to be expected. Albeit, there were some photos I really liked! But I was still afraid to share them with the DJs; after all—I’m the guy with the camera, I’m supposed to know how to use it.

Right? Wrong.

The goal was to learn. Reading manuals and attending Youtube Youniversity would only take me so far. I had to learn ISO, aperature1, white balance, and shutter-speed—and how to compensate for a lack of flash, or proper-lighting; all while handling subjects that move unpredictably.

Having succeeded in my goal of learning, I still felt defeated. I’d moved the goalposts, and backtracked on my initial intention. I didn’t want my first impression on these people to be that of an amateur photographer.

But to my credit I learned a lot from this experience! I could always delete these photos and take my experience with me to the next shoot, right? Everything would be perfect on that next shoot… Right?

After much deliberation, I decided it was necessary to release the photos+footage. In the middle of one of the sets, I stepped outside to get some air. While outside, I connected with a woman2 named Tessa3. We talked for what felt like awhile. Mostly about philosophy, modernism (including metamodernism) and the convergence of art and culture. Before heading inside4, I remember breaking down my personal understanding of the creative process.

As artists, we dedicate our lives to manifesting the vision that exists in our mind’s eye by bringing it to fruition in the present reality. This vision in our mind is the ideal vision for our creative work.

In our delusion, we understand the vision as ‘possible’, and we do everything in our power to translate our vision using the tools around us, knowing very-well that we may never get there—but we will fail and get closer with each repeated failure.

I’ve repeated this adage several times—to the point where I cannot remember if I formulated the idea myself, or directly stole it from another artist. Regardless, whether its inspired by several readings or directly ripped from another artist, I hope this advice finds you when you need it most.

Stay cringe and stay creative.